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Showing posts from January, 2021

Babies Don't Need Overnights With Dad

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Unpopular opinion: Babies under the age of 12 months should primarily be with the mom and do not need overnight visits with dad. It literally makes no difference for them if they spend X amount of time with dad, because even a few hours a day with dad is sufficient for them at that point of development. On the Maslow hierarchy of needs, babies only need food, warmth, someone to change them, hold them, and lots of sleep. They don't need overnights with dad on order to develop.  When they start walking around and forming social connections, then you can start talking about overnights. Even before 12 months, overnights are still fine once in a while, but consistent scheduled overnights are just not necessary.  What a baby under the age of 12 months primarily needs is it's mother. It needs that skin to skin contact. It needs those mommy pheromones. It does something for their physical, psychological and emotional development that science doesn't fully yet comprehend...

Solving The Custody Crisis: Child Support

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Let's get real, most custody battles are not about the best interest of the child, and in *most* cases both parents are fit to parent. Most of the time, it's two angry people fighting each other for power or using the kids as weapons. The courts don't help, as they incentivize parents to fight through a winner takes all model. Suddenly, these angry people are empowered to hurt each other, and are so blinded with hatred that they lose sight of the fact that the weapons they are fighting with are the innocent children caught in the middle. How do you solve this problem? Take away the incentives.  I hear from a lot of mothers that the father did not go after her for custody until she filed for child support. Men HATE to feel like they are giving a woman a blank check to do with as she pleases. It burns them up inside.  Realistically, that money is most likely going to expenses surrounding the child, but all the men see is that blank check, and they go nuts. One s...