Same Same, But Different.


Every time I see a mother asking for custody related advice or support on a Father's Rights page, I cringe. Would you go to a dentist for a heart attack? Ofcourse not. So why would you go to a forum inherently designed for fathers, and ask a mom related question?! Inevitably, there are always men in the comments who belittle or invalidate her for being on a father's forum. Don't get me wrong, I fully support TFRM and what they have done for fathers. However, I also believe that we are not equal and mothers do not really belong in TFRM. We can act as allies, but ultimately we need to let it be a boys club. 
I do not believe in gender equality. It pisses me off to no end that society has tried to shove gender equality down our throats. Men and women are not the same, and that's OK!!! Our differences do not make either gender better or worse. They just make us different. We each excel in our own beautiful ways. We are all capable of achieving the same goals, working the same jobs, and making the same amount of money, but emotionally, psychologically and physiologically, we're just different. Our differences also mean that we have different needs, different communication styles, and different perspectives.
This is why AMWOC exists! We are admittedly and proudly a micro-niche. We cater to mothers who are at risk of losing custody, are going through contentious custody battles, or who do not have custody for various reasons, but are still amazing mothers who have an immense desire to mother their children and be their best selves, despite their circumstances. Although we have had several fathers come through our doors, we generally direct fathers to TFRM because we believe that they will get maximum support there, beyond what we can offer. We don't redirect fathers because we hate them, we redirect them because we love them, and want what is best for them.
I believe that we thrive when we surround ourselves with those who are like us. If you need advice or support, you should seek advice from forums that are as closely related to your specific issue as possible. There is nothing wrong with wanting gender specific forums. Everybody needs a tribe. We can be different and separate, and still work in tandem for a greater good. We don't have to devolve into hatred, or consider those who are different than us our enemies. We have to learn to celebrate and embrace our differences. It doesn't have to be an Us VS. Them. Fathers are not our enemies (our only enemy is the specific person who hurt us). Fathers can sympathize with our issues, but they do not fully understand our issues. Unless you are asking for a man's point of view on an issue, you can't expect a forum filled with men to give you the advice or support that you need. Fathers need fathers. Step-moms need step-moms. Single moms need single moms. Abuse survivors need abuse survivors. Amazing mothers without custody need AMWOC. In the end, we are all the same, we are just...different. And THAT'S OK! 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why I Do Not Have Custody

How The Hassidic Community Alienates Children From Non-Observant Parents

Why I Do What I Do