I Miss His Mom

You have to understand one thing about your mother-in-law. She will always, ALWAYS, choose her son's side over yours. It's nothing personal. Even if he hurt you. Even if she disagrees with him. He's her baby. Her allegiance is to him. 
My ex-MIL is a fantastic woman. My daughter was named after her. She's an accomplished artist and has many talents. We got very close during my marriage. However, the relationship abruptly ended when I filed for divorce. I saw her in court once and she couldn't look me in the eye. 
She's let me into her house once in the last 5 years under the guise of secrecy, and gave me a container of food for dinner. I started to send her pictures of the kids and even called her on video chat when the kids were with me to say hello. I thought the relationship was improving, but once my ex and I started arguing again, my contact with her ceased. This past Purim (a Jewish holiday) I had the kids and was tempted to visit her house and bring her a gift basket and show off the kids costumes, but I stopped myself. 
Having a relationship with me would put a strain on her relationship with her family because my ex and I do not get along. I still care about her,  and I don't want to put her in that position and I respect her need for space. I do miss her though and I hope she is doing well. 
She had to take her son's side. That's what mothers do. As a mother to a son, I can empathize with her decision. It's hard and painful to understand, but I get it. 
If you are struggling with the same issue, put yourself in your MIL's shoes and try to empathize with her. It's not easy, especially if she's enabling him or supporting him while he is doing things that hurt you. To you, he's a grown man, but to her, he's her baby boy. You will never be able to compete with that. 

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